Tuesday, September 30, 2014

An Open Letter to my Prospective Suitor!

I request you, my prospective suitor
To kindly read this open letter
Before you mount a docked-up mule
I humbly present these basic rules
Even though we haven’t even met
To stress some points, I’m all set!
Some things are better cleared early
To avoid later an emotional tragedy
Whenever you’re coming to meet me
I can hope, you are prepared already
Now check this list quite carefully
Ignorance isn’t an excuse for folly
So, let us begin with, my dear
I hope doubts will be all-clear

If you wish a girl who is
Like a typical bahu on TV
May you never get to meet me!
I wear vivid hues and short dresses
And roam around in open tresses
I just give a damn to all non-sense
And a good kick to ethnic pretence
I shout on the top of my voice
If get rubbed on the wrong side
I love myself and my make-up
And grooming to stay tip-top
I love click…click… click of my stilettos’
Flaunting funky nails in my peep-toes
I always call a spade a spade
Deception is not I’m of made
Alright, this was one thing
I hope next isn’t this boring!

Now let us move on to a new point
Read carefully with an open mind
Boy, I have my own life, alright
So, don’t expect a coy Indian wife
Waiting for my husband like a dog
Timidly in sun, rain, snow or fog
Frying pakoras as you land and,
Wasting days in running errands
Dissolving in kitchen day & night
With sari draped around me tight
I can’t visit those temples daily
B’coz in goodness lies the key
Nor listen to your sexist crap
I’ll swiftly gift a tight slap
Okay, so I hope this is fine
Let’s jump to another point

You've to respect my parents
If from me, you same expect
Yes! I can handle my money
Down till the very last penny
So please don’t meddle, I insist
Thank you. I can save and invest
Also! No dowry as gold or cars
Or you’ll soon be behind bars
I’ll never come to your rescue
And you’ll reap what you'll sow

Alright dear, now let’s soften a bit
We shall talk of that love shit
If still stuck in a failed affair
Firstly go, and see a doctor
And pay that shrink by the hour
For I’m not a mental counselor
I want someone I can admire
Not one still aflame with ex-desires
No carrying past baggage, I agree
No tears or rants for gone spree

Did I seem like a stone-hearted devil?
Or a ruthless bitch- sarcastic and evil?
If so, read between the lines, boy
I’m a dignified lady and not a toy
Or a living doll you can with play
Or a half-wit moron without a say
I won’t allow to be taken lightly
Even if male-egos are hurt slightly
Because I love my respect no end
Liberated and ambitious too, I am

So, if yes! Let’s party and cheer!
Else, to our own ways, dear.

Image from: www.favim.com/image/219926/
Bahu- daughter-in-law
Pakoras- Snacks


  1. Nice one Ankita!!! Go Go Go! :D

    1. Hi Rima

      hehe! Thanks a ton!


  2. hahahahh this was a delight to read!!!
    heheeh..no dowry or he be behind the bars. :D

    1. hahahaha! thanks a lot my dear!

      yes, why not!

  3. That was a perfect way to put it, Ankita :) You are one sensible girl and any guy would be lucky to have you :)

    1. Hi A

      Thanks a ton!! I am so glad that you liked it and also thanks a ton for such an awesome compliment :D

  4. Hahahaha this was so awesome :D

    1. Hi Soumya

      hahaha! thank you!

  5. Nice one. I like it. What if he accepts all your basic rules and replies with his side of "basic rules". Would you consider them or is it just a one way "basic rule".

    1. Hi SG

      Thanks! of course, these rules are not one sided, I'll take into consideration his rules as well

  6. Although written on a lighter note,many stipulations are valid and best cleared beforehand!!

    1. Hello KP Sir

      Thank you! yes, Exactly!

  7. Nice one.. And in a true sense that are how companions are.. Other wives are mere slaves..

    1. Hi Megha

      Thanks! yes, very true :D

  8. Ankita, you are so adorable. :) You deserve the best! <3

    1. Hi Katrin

      Awwww!! Thanks a ton dear!!

      <3 <3

  9. Amazing is the word. You speak my mind, girl. I think I am going to show this to my prospective suitors too ;)

    1. HI Jyotsna

      Thanks a ton!!! You made my day!

      Plz do!

  10. Loove it, Ankita. First time I am here and u write awesomely well:)

    1. Hi Vishal

      Thanks a lot!!! :D

      Keep coming :)

  11. Ha ha ha ... lovely letter :D

  12. I always envy people who can make poems rhyme. I loved the subject you have written and the way you have put it in words. :-)

    1. Hi Kanthu

      Thanks a ton! I am really glad that you liked these verses and the subject too!


  13. wow! i loved this! so well written Ankita :)

    1. Hi divsi

      Thanks a ton! I am so happy that you liked it!