The lives of ‘happy’ couples when seen closely can provide new facts and even shocking truths. A lot of suffocation and tiff goes on like a constant undercurrent beneath that lovey-dovey appearance. Girls often complain that in laws are too controlling esp when it comes to clothing. Let me get straight to the point- why is it so difficult for a girl to wear western clothing after marriage? Why are jeans so over hyped in our ‘culture’? I have seen poker faced mothers- in- law strictly reading out rules like a warden to their newly married coy daughters- in-law. If a girl wears dresses (one piece) or shorts or jeans, she is often made to feel obliged and thankful for the ‘openness’ and ‘tolerance’ of her in-laws. While ‘bahus‘ and ‘betis’ clearly have different rules and the double standard is apparent, the former is expected to have high levels of patience and ample maturity to absorb all the fuss the ‘sasuraal-walle’ make about her returning late from work and/or wearing jeans.
Well, I am not generalizing since many families do not believe in such double standard crap, but most do. I was still more astonished that even those with strong financial backing and education still want their DIL to behave like ones straight out of those of TV serials. Also, boys too have clearly different choices; while they want their girlfriends to be independent, fiery and like pop stars, they expect their wives to be perfect Indian brides- very motherly and an epitome of Indian culture and tradition. (GF vs Wife)
I clearly remember reading a piece of news a few years back. A newly married working woman in Noida divorced her husband because her in-laws expected her to be dressed up in saris all the time, along with full Indian jewelry like anklets, bangles etc. They also made her fast on various petty occasions like ‘ekadashis’ and ‘aamavasyas’ etc. Well, the result was that the girl refused the crap and gave them a piece of her mind…Lovely!
Why are jeans so over hyped esp for DILs? Is full clothing the only way to rectify a person’s promiscuity? What about our brave sons who have all the freedom on earth to roam and fool around, while we expect their obedient and ‘sanskaari’ wives to sit at home all wrapped up in six yards fasting for well being of their pati-parmeshwars. Our society is clearly hypocritical and rather incorrigible. Wearing jeans does not indicate one’s character in any way and nor does wearing traditional clothes make one more of a saint. I think it is high time we rise above these things.
An aunt of mine told me about one of her married nieces.
“Oh the family is so modern you know! Lovely people” She said happily.
“What happened?” I asked
“They give so much freedom to my niece”
“Like?” I asked
“Like…They are open people…modern in thinking. They treat her like a daughter…their own daughter.” She cheered.
“I mean, how are they are modern?” I stressed the main point again.
“They are…like she wears what she likes…like jeans etc…and they do not say anything! Such a nice MIL she has!”
“Awesome! how lucky your niece must be!” I remarked.
(Images from the Internet)