Friday, January 28, 2011


 I have been pondering over this matter for quite some time. I would like to provide a small disclaimer this time as well. I do not mean or intend to hurt any one in any way; these are simply word forms of my thoughts, perceptions, and especially my observations. To start with, the basic topic of this post is gender based discrimination. If you see things deeply from a third person’s perspective, chauvinism peeps out from even the most simple words, statements and situations.

We all ignore any news of discrimination and crime against women, labeling as very rusty, raw and rather ‘chhote-shaher ka’ types. Are we liberal in real sense? Does our ‘modern and educated’ society very capable of giving lectures on women power really practices what all it preaches all the time?

Let’s take the example of corporate first. Female employees, have to constantly give ‘signals’ of ‘I am not available for fun’. Even the HR people advise them to dress modestly. Why should a girl change her dressing style if some male is not able to keep his feelings under check? Secondly, it is an open secret that ladies have to work twice as hard as their male counterparts to get promotion. Even if she has climbed the corporate ladder through hard work and dedication, she is often accused of compromising with the bosses to get the chair that only a man ‘deserved’.
It is very common to see people taking respite in tagging ladies who are separated from their husbands. Whether a lady leaves her husband or he leaves her; in either case she is the ‘culprit’; rather the only one. The things are not same for men. In fact, I have seen men who recently lost their wives, flooded with marriage proposals but a widow is considered inauspicious and is avoided like plague at  auspicious ceremonies like marriage etc. Why this discrimination? Abuse is not only physical; these boycotts are often the worst form of torture one can inflict on an already disadvantaged being, for some emotional wounds take forever to heal.

Any man with a jovial and friendly disposition is considered positive and good natured. He is considered smart and attractive; while any girl with a similar nature is tagged slutty and cheap? This discrimination is deeply rooted even in our so called modern society. It is a literal cakewalk to spoil the name of any girl- just spread a few rumors and she will be tainted for life.

I know of a particular case where, to know each other better, a girl requested her suitor to meet her separately at any public place. The boy not only refused to meet her but his family snapped the ties too, for they thought the girl was very ‘forward’, desperate and lacks ‘sanskaars’. Silly, but good for the girl; luck got that pest out of her life!

Also, rape is the only crime wherein the only one blamed is the hapless victim. As Napoleon rightly said ‘In the end, what hurts us the most is not the words of our enemies but the silence of our friends’. The disdainful look and apathetic treatment of the victim by her own society in fact makes her life hellish since every minute she is reminded of her ‘tragedy’ by her very own people.

There are many situations like this and the list is endless, literally. No sex is superior to the other; both are at the same level. This unnecessary discrimination covered under the mask of so called modernity makes us even more obnoxious. It is high time we open our mind and start truthfully practicing what we always preach about gender equality.

‘Like a compass needle always points north, a man’s accusing finger always finds a woman. Always.’ – Nana to Mariam, in “A Thousand Splendid Suns” by Khaled Hosseini….. Can’t agree more!


  1. very well said...its cent percent correct...all labels for women..men are all like pure and divine...why discrimination??....this is very popular in India ..may be not in western culture since its an open society..But when it comes to our cultures the pain is still there,though Indian society has improved a lot ...But still those Creeps are there with these labels!!

  2. touching....
    these are just the solutionless problems present in our country,,,,,,
    even the women in our country very rarely resist these...
    eve teasing is something that is completely unbearable..
    donno whom to blame...the society??
    or the people who keep quite against these odds???

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  4. right said AS!
    Howeever i strongly believe that our society is changing where in we are seeing a lot of bold youngsters not afraid to speak the truth and take up life the way they want it. A positive side of globalisation may be. When I see women getting seats without having to ask , I am happy that India is changing and when I see that sometimes women are refused seats I am reminded that we have a long way to go indeed.

  5. Hello AS

    Thanks for the comments how ever please note that My own blog name is also AS, so please change your name to avoid confusion.

  6. To AS, also regarding ur comments, I think your need to see a lot more particularly a bit deeply in day to day life and not just a few places.

  7. hey Harman!

    thanks a lot for the precious comments :)

    yes i agree with you! such creeps are every where

  8. hi Madrasi

    thanks! these things are really unbearable..most of the women chose to keep quiet for the society blames them only in any case.

  9. In the light of recent findings, there's no greater taint than grace
    But to relinquish all our bindings, always finds us out of place

    Very recently, some classmates insulted a girl of their class by branding her as a bitch and a slut. Well, somebody took care of that, and they would be facing hefty fines and a visit to the board of Directors.

    Blasphemous Aesthete.

  10. Very true.. being women is not easy. to achieve something they have to go through many probing eyes, many more obstacles than a man, many male egos trying to pull her down...
    but still we are fighting and that what makes us stronger each day... :D

  11. Unfortunately such discrimination's are prevalent but some women like Ms Sawant, Ms Sherawat portray women as dumb sex objects and i detest.
    Keep fighting..its going to be a long fight against discrimination and eve teasing.

  12. Of Elephants and Primates: Elephants have a matriarchal society. Herds are led by matriarchs who promote a cohesive growth within the herd. Unruly males or rouges get turned out of the herd and end up getting lonely or killed. Apes and other primates have a patriarchal society. The females have a hierarchy within a family. Less favored females or females from the lower levels of hierarchy produce more male offspring as a male ape’s class or level or caste (as one wants to see it) depends upon the his physical prowess, but a female offspring inherits her mother’s class or level. We say we evolved from primates and revere elephants. But our behavior clearly implies otherwise – does it not?

  13. hii UA

    Thanks for the comment!

  14. hii Pink

    I agree with u totally, its really not easy.

    u have very rightly said that 'still we are fighting and that what makes us stronger each day... :D'

    yes, our strength lies in never giving up and that why a lady is the backbone of any family.

  15. Hi Alka

    hehe! ya I agree, exceptions are every where :P

  16. Hello Sarita Maam

    thanks a ton for this thoughtful comment. Yes very rightly said, I agree with ur point.

  17. I know.. and unfortunately things dont look like changing..

    no. of seats reserved for women hae been increased..

    men say thats bad.. as they have to stand..

    dont they get that it is their daughters/sisters/etc who will use this facility and they will reach their destination with more peace of mind.. than worrying men touching them by mistake..

    i mean people will get all progressive and in the end..

    fuck.. sometimes these guys ashame me..because of all this lecherous behavior..

    no romantic - i met an interestig stranger stuff - happens ..coz all that a girl thinks when a guy smiles at her.. or asks about the book she is reading is that he is some psycho..


  18. hii Sankoobaba

    yes, i agree
    nice comment :)

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