Before proceeding any further in this post, it is important to give a small disclaimer. Basically, I am writing this on the basis of my real life experiences with friends and especially social group members like neighbors and relatives. How your problem is a time pass for them and how eagerly people look forward to what happens next in your life is just similar to how a serial buff looks forward to the next episode; how much your drooping face interests them and how much willing they are to stir up waters to catch some mew ‘masaala’ from your life! Not just some of your relatives but a few neighbors as well fall into this category. I do not mean everyone is like this but most of the people definitely are, and you find more so if you keep your senses open and become a bit more observing.
1.This happened when my mother was hospitalized and I was a kid of six years. This bitch used to be a neighbor of mine.
Miss A: Where is your mother these days?
Me: She is at hospital.
Miss A: So who is managing the house? Her sister? (With a wink)
Miss A: What did your father cook for dinner yesterday?
Me: Xyz curry
Miss A: What else he can cook?
Me: I don’t know
Miss A: why? (Angrily)
Miss A: He bathes your mother?
Me: I don’t know
Miss A: Why? Are you mad? Don’t you live with them? Anyways, who was he who visited your house yesterday?
Me: ? (Crying)
Miss A: Go and come tomorrow.
After that, at that tender age, I swore I will refuse to talk and keep mum if any one enquires about my mother again.
2.This happened when I was in school. One of my friends had three more siblings.
Teacher: How many siblings do you have?
She: Madam, three
Teacher: My gawd! four kids in these times! And what is your father?
She: He is a professor at Xyz University
Teacher: Still four? hahahah!
Teacher to a fellow teacher: He must be keeping his evenings free of private tuitions (with a wink)!
I clearly remember my friend cried bitterly after that and swore never to befriend any one of that particular religion to which that teacher belonged.
3.This happened when I was in college.
A few distant relatives visited us. As soon as they arrived, they started doing recce of the house, opening closets and surveying nook and corners. I was asked to show some old photographs. As soon as I got the bag out of the drawer, it was snatched and all the albums spread on the bed. Much to me and my mother’s discomfort, my college trip album was picked up, and then started the interrogative process. They started inquiring about my male friends in my group. The uncle looked at me with penetrating eyes and said: “Hmmm, so schooling was in co-ed school?”
Me: Yes uncle.
He: College as well
He: Hmmm (passing a silent and dirty smile to his wife)
4.Finally this happened to me when I was working:
A friend of mine was going through a painful marriage. She called me one day at two in the night and started crying. I tried my best to console her. After I told her to be calm and even, and after an hour long conversation, I was firmly told by her not to ‘interfere’ in her ‘personal matters’, ‘husband’ and ‘married life’. I was also given a lecture on relationships and emotions.
That was the last conversation of my life with that girl. I swore never to interfere in anyone’s marriage, no matter how close he or she is and how painful it is going.
I have noticed, some people do not leave a single opportunity to insult others in any way and sometimes they create situation that can provide them an authority to insult. I strongly feel such people are kind of mentally deranged or sick and not worth interacting with.
Also, certain experiences and insults that shook you from inside are very capable to form some particular attitudes and beliefs for the rest of your life. If you think someone is that possessive about this or superstitious about that or simply refuses to let herself/ himself go, prod a little; you will find an insecure child or a confused teen somewhere in her/his soul. Next time, before rushing to form an opinion after the first meeting, just go a little deeper, things may not be what they seem, something else lies beneath.