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Thursday, January 30, 2020

It's World Class!


A weird thought popped up last evening while I was doing something entirely different. Now, let us suppose that this whole world is a classroom and all the countries or continents are students. This is what I think they all are likely to be.

USA- The super rich ones who commute to college in their own expensive vehicles, are obese from overeating junk and nonstop partying and do not acknowledge anyone else in the class. Not very good in studies because they are busy with all sorts of relationship troubles so they have tutors who help them mug up everything. Usually, they have dysfunctional families or their parents are uber cool too, just like them.

Jesus, I need coke and a burger, a Limo and of course a shrink!

Canada- These are upper middle and very friendly. They accept everyone’s friendship, invite everyone to their parties and apologize for mistakes made in the past.

Satsriakal world! Please come in!

UK- Are shrewd and give much attention to detail but are also reserved and discriminating for they focus only on their own target. Have a tough time mixing well with others for they consider the rest of the class to be a petri dish of germs. They usually wear formal or semi formal clothes of more or less the same dull colors to college. They also take up any seat they fancy and refuse to budge.

We really apologize and request you to pardon our impertinence and not consider it offensive so to speak but have we been introduced yet by any chance?

China- These are the shrewdest of all. These students are tech experts and excel in math and computers. They are also very secretive about their motives and are always smiling to keep you confused. They have voracious appetites and can eat anything when they are hungry.

I know what you did last summer!

Africa- These have arrived to college from rural areas and their forefathers were poor, exploited and worked very hard. They are honest, rugged and have certain rawness in them. They have a fire to move ahead in life.

World is a jungle, be a lion not a wildebeest

France- These are the most stylish of the lot. They have rich but busy parents. These students often suffer from depression or anxiety issues. They have a great taste in food and wear awesome perfumes to college but dislike mixing too much and can be painfully curt at times. Also, they eat only well presented food with complicated names and secretly love it when people pronounce those wrong!

Mercy, monsieur but you look stupid in the dress you copied from us

Italy- These are the ones who keep the whole class entertained. Boys flirt usually and girls giggle for no reason. They are not very serious about their future. Also, they come from old reputed families and love to narrate the stories of their very powerful forefathers that no one is interested in anymore yet they can’t stop.

Wanna go for a pizza date? We will have some pasta too!

Russia- These are those tough guys who occupy the back benches. They are laconic, sturdy and are formidable foes but do not disturb anyone purposelessly. Some people accuse them of selling drugs but no one has courage to ask them directly. They are great chess players and their silent gaze can be terrifying.

No reason to stay is a good reason to go

Saudi Arab- These students usually bribe teachers with all the fine things to buy good grades, are very businesslike and brutal. They come from very rich but closed and conservative patriarchal business backgrounds. They love to flaunt their cars and pets.

We will buy you

Germany- Toppers who are amazing in math and science. They are studious, hardworking and hate small talk. These have a dark sense of humor and to see them giggling is a rare sight. Also, these are great with machinery and can fix any issue in that area. They are extremely philosophical as well.

Kant you mind your own business?

Pakistan- These are the shabby ones whose body odor repels others, are rowdy, hypocrites and often end up embarrassing themselves. They often pass nasty comments on women and get insulted yet are unbothered by the humiliation. They always borrow stuff from other students but hardly ever return the items. These are the most hated students in the whole class.

Can you lend us some money??

Bhutan- These are helpful, always smiling and studious students who avoid fight at all costs. They often recite peace and brotherhood prayers yet do not mix much with others in the class. They love to sit alone in gardens and are happiest when left to themselves.

Eat, Love , Pray

India- These are the most talkative ones who love to mix up, invite others over lunch and offer lovely hospitality. These students are skilled in music and arts. Usually, there is much potential but they make silly mistakes because of wrong priorities and waste much of their time on fruitless activities. Most of their class projects are copied from other students. They love street food, movies and cricket and can be very emotionally volatile for they form attachments way too fast. They are the agony aunts of the class and love to dole out unwanted free advice.

Tell us about yourself, your parents, family, pets, neighbors and everything about others that you know!

Japan- These have everything, from stationery to notebooks in small sizes. They study a lot for long hours, never miss a single class hence are often sleep deprived.

We have a miniature version of that object you have but it can be seen only under a microscope

Antarctica- These are the most aloof ones, are unfriendly and often absent. Teachers visit their places to find out what’s wrong with them.

Who the hell are you?

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