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Tuesday, August 5, 2014

What’s Wrong With Indian Men???


I am sure there is something seriously wrong with Indian men. A few minutes back, I have just returned from a reputed bank and really wish to share the incident. I went there along with my father and was wearing a knee- length dress. It was a usual one piece dress which was not at all revealing or indecent in any manner. However, as I entered, the bank guard stared at my bare legs in such a dirty way that I had to resist myself from slapping him tight. He then tried giving me a smile and while I was interacting with a bank official, I saw him hovering around, staring at my legs, enjoying the ogling act with an equally obnoxious colleague. As we proceeded towards the exit door, he again tried giving me a smile. I wonder if wearing a dress is such a crime that a girl is perceived as a piece of meat and has to bear all those lecherous gazes that are indeed an assault on dignity. There is something very wrong with most of the Indian males. I know so many men from well respected and educated families who have absolutely no manners to behave with women and no inhibitions before raising their voice and even hands on them. It shames me that our society is really rotten in this regard.

It also makes me feel extremely ashamed that two of my male cousins fall into this category. I have snapped ties with both of them as the last resort. Nothing deters them from indulging in violence and verbal abuse but the most disturbing thing is that their mothers consider it to be very normal. Both are engineers and have educated and working parents but lack even a trace of sophistication. I often wonder why the hell they are related to me. This is such a punishment.

However, I think there is no character development as far as male progenies are concerned for parents devote their entire energy and ‘sanskaars’ towards girls, training them in coyness and to stay subdued and quiet, and to coil within like a snail when any male shows interest or behaves indecently. It would have been much better if most Indian parents had taught their sons to respect women.

Indian male mentality sucks and I feel ashamed of my culture that treats women like an object of fun and a piece of meat.

PS: To hell with such pigs- I’ll buy a dress today.
                                                                                                                           
                                                                                                         

28 comments:

  1. hmm this is what we do wrong mam.. we resist to slap. had such men been slapped years ago, they would have stopped doing what they do...

    education and reputation does not mean Manners..

    I dont know wht else to say, all i can say is I am sorry we the indian men are like that ..

    Bikram's

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Bikram

      yes but you can't slap all the time for there are so many pests :P
      exactly, I agree. my two cousins are educated but lack even the most basic manners.

      yeah..sigh..

      Delete
  2. Indian men are pervert and people maintain double standards.. I suggest you either don't wear short dresses in such conservative places like bank or govt offices or keep I am not bothered attitude and keep pepper spray with you if somebody approaches..

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    1. Hi Megha

      yes, i agree with this fact completely. yes, i would buy a pepper spray now, what else can a girl do in such an obnoxious society :(

      Delete
  3. I am sorry to hear this. :( People really need to have some manners! Hope you can find a great dress. You are definitely a strong woman!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Interesting post. Most of the Indian men are. But not all. Therefore, please do not paint all with the same brush.

    I always wondered why many Indian men behave such a way only with the Indian women. For example, in Chennai beach there will be foreign women in a two piece swimming suit. No one would look at them. But if an Indian woman, who was standing at the edge of the water raises her saree a little bit when the water comes in, many guys would be starring at her legs.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi SG

      most of them are so I am referring to Indian men in general.

      that is so funny and strange
      :P

      Delete
  5. There's a very rural, a very misogynist thought process going on in most Indian men's heads, no matter how educated they are. Sometimes, it's not even about what you're wearing - anything that they can get a peek out of is enough for them to keep ogling and grinning (and drooling and let's not think what else!) It's not all men, to be fair; but the ones who do it are enough to make you wanna live elsewhere!

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    1. Hi Sreesha

      Thais is also very true, they are basically perverts and even an inch of skin can make them go mad with lust.

      sadly yes

      Delete
  6. It is not just Indian men but all over.
    When I entered University in 2011, senior boys expected me to add them, innocently as questions about the Uni and develop relations with them which I refused to do (being in first co education experience ever) and since I did not mingle with the senior boys I had to deal with rumors and all the hatred and being labelled "baji type" and "scary" and what not and even my group broke, I was disowned by my friend because I did not approve of her relationship with a senior and because they wanted to see boys while I wanted to be in library... Desperate girls? Hungry boys!
    And so happen now. Public travelling is nothing but pain because of getting x ray eyes, I was wearing sun glasses and on my way home when a thousand tims I have seen bike riders blowing kisses and some patting the seat empty beside them (inviting??) ALL ages MEN. Imagine!
    I hate this, our society is sick.
    Women are nothing but object to men. I like your straight forward post and well my cousin is in airline, has a fine job and he is the same way so I refuse to meet their family. I hate dirty eyes and I can't tolerate.
    And about abusing women slapping them hitting them and using bad language, I have had the worst childhood in this regard :) Bad memories! SIGH
    Thing is when children grow in such environment boys tend to follow the foot steps of their dad because it is fed in their subconscious to do so and for girls.. they become either too bold or too sensitive or mentally unstable always fearsome and insecure,...
    Sighs

    ReplyDelete
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    1. Hi Ph_

      yes, the entire Asia (almost) suffers from this issue. I agree. Such despo girls create problems for others as well. One of my roommates was extremely desperate and had such a reputation that I had to shift my room.

      this is really so annoying. such jobless and aimless boys should be handled by police.
      My cousins are just too rude and insolent but this is really sad. Such dirty gazes are so filthy.

      yes, I agree. Such people will give nothing positive to the coming generations.

      Delete
  7. A, the Indian Society is still in its resent stages of revolution. We are not very civil as compared to the west. Add to this is the all pervasive patriarchal hegemony that at once deifies and objectifies women.

    Sorry about your experience.

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    1. Hi Rajesh

      the question is why we are not even now? We ape west in everything be it clothing, food and other trends but when it comes to manners and equality, we return into our primitive cocoons...such a shame

      Delete
  8. Well written article! I guess most gals now a days are feeling and experiencing the same day by day. And reason you have written in your post itself. There is no character development as far as male progenies are concerned. All so called sanskars are for gals here!!

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    1. Hi V

      Thank you! there is really no training and character development as far as boys are concerned, only girls are taught to be sanskaari and to forget and forgive every shit.

      Delete
  9. Indian men grow up watching how their fathers treat their mothers. It continues. I have noticed now that men who reside abroad for a few years, have got a different behaviour towards their women. They help their wives in cooking, taking care of babies...but men who are here, are still the same. I have also noticed that some groups of men visit malls on week ends just to watch womens' legs! One wife told me laughingly, when I asked where her husband was, 'he will be standing somewhere watching colours (means women)'

    Hahaha...go and buy a dress, well two dresses!

    ReplyDelete
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    1. Hi Sandhya

      yes, that is why there has been almost no change since generations. here men consider it to a sign of being effeminate and as they locally call it 'joru ka gulam' types. yes, they really do visit malls and such places to stare..sick

      Delete
  10. You go get that dress babe!!!!
    and u shud have complained about the security guard to the manager....Hopefully he isnt another asshole.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Red

      exactly! Why should i hide myself. We must fight back

      Delete
  11. The 2nd last para says it all!

    ReplyDelete
  12. Well written. Some men indeed have this mentality.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Onkar

      Thank you. I think most men carry such mentality

      Delete
  13. As A society we have to grow up

    ReplyDelete
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    1. Hi R Miglani

      yes, seriously

      Delete
  14. The problem is that this kind of behavior is normalized. People don't acknowledge that this is a problem, and for someone who grows up with never understanding that this is wrong, will not stop.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Hi IR

    sorry for a late reply.

    Exactly, people take it very casually and do not consider it as an issue.

    ReplyDelete

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