What's Your Rashi- Part 4

Suppose a girl has to visit a wedding function but has lost her way and asks the directions despite having a map (she is confused actually). Let us see how the boys of each zodiac sign are going to respond to this situation-

Aries- Hey are you illiterate? Read the map, this time with your eyes open! Leave it, I am coming along to show you the way, baby!

Taurus- Kindly give me a pen and a paper, I will draw the complete map in a simple way. It should not take more than an hour. Have patience.

Gemini- Damn! You lost your way! You know so many little things can happen and you might meet someone who has lost way too but you have a map too, why so? Did you run from home? Where is your lover? I should not interfere in your personal life much you see I am not a very nosey person…ha ha ha!

Cancer- It reminds me of my friend who lost her way once too and then… (nearly sobbing) we found her in the forest, alone and scared. I request you to take me along too, I’ll cling and show you the right way…Please…

Leo- First of all dear lady, it is your good luck that you have met someone like me who can show you the right way. You must thank your God for this. Now drive as I’ll tell you!

Virgo- Madam, why did you not bring someone along and why are you driving inside the city if you have to, as you yourself are saying, reach to the next city. Why are you wearing casual clothes if you set out to visit a wedding? I smell something fishy. Please excuse me.

Libra- Hmmm…hmmm, see maps are often not accurate because the entire area is condensed on a small sheet. Sometimes cities change as people do and the entire city as if sheds its skin and takes a new form. When you drove on a wrong road you thought it was right but it was not and this happens often with people. You can do two things, either read the map or drive back again to the last point and take the another road. With maps, you can…………………………….. (he goes on!)

Scorpio- Come with me, I’ll explain the map!

Sagittarius- You dumb! What is life if not losing the way once in a while! Let me hop in and we’ll explore the forests and the woods and the city and have fun! What is there in the boring wedding? Throw this map now!!

Capricorn- Sorry madam, I do not know. However, you should request your acquaintance to meet you at some landmark point.

Aquarius- If I were you, I would have returned home to watch a good movie with my pals!

Pisces- No, No! Do not be in a mirage; this is not losing the way! Destiny has changed the gears as in my deepest dreams, I knew deeply that I will meet the other half-energy of my soul and everything is nature is meant to be half till it is completed by the opposite element just like Yin and Yang, my lovely lass! Do you not dream?

Image- thirdeyeactivation.com/

WHAT’S YOUR RASHI- PART-3

In the last post, girls broke off the engagement. Now let’s see how our boys of the zodiac are going to react to this. Let’s suppose they have come to know that they have been dumped.

1. Aries: haha! As if I bother!!
2. Taurus: (After hearing all the things patiently): Its ok, I am fine with this decision. I don’t want a partner who is like a baggage on me.
3. Gemini: What! You are breaking off the engagement? You know only strong girls can do that. No girl can live in a suffocating relationship. I hate such relationships as well... You were so nice, I enjoyed with you. You must be a strong girl. Emotions have their place in relationship, you are too emotional to take right decisions, and I feel emotional girls are not strong and …………so.........and........
4. Cancer: What?? I am devastated. Please do not leave my lady; I just cannot take broken relations. Please do not make my nightmares come true. But finally, if you should, then I also know how to live without you.
5. Leo: Letting go a man like me proves that you are a certified lunatic…and by the way, I always wanted to tell one thing that even my maid has a better style sense than you girl...In fact you never ever deserved me, get lost!Grrrr..
6. Virgo: Yes, madam, I also noticed various things like you were staring blankly out of the window when my aunt was giving you tips on better knitting, I heard you did not flush when you used the restaurant loo, you also did not wash your hand after touching the escalator railing and you also took the compliment given by my cousin on your dress very lightly. Thanks a lot for letting me off your clutches.
7. Libra: Hmmm…Hmmm...Now what is the exact problem and what is the exact root of this decision. See, exact root can make you take a few other decisions as well like you may delay, you may set some particular terms and conditions but I can see you have cancelled. If the cause and effect are the same, then a peculiar habit of mine may be the reason. See, I think…….. And I think… and I think……… (The poor girl says yes to avoid argument!).
8. Scorpio: OK lady (Thinking: How dare you, you  dumb ass, can’t you feel the heat of  my intense passion for you? Now I’ll teach you a lesson or two for sure, and then you will think a thousand times before hurting any one again like this... wait and watch girl, just wait and watch….).
9. Sagittarius: Yaar, that’s what I was saying, why don’t you lose some weight and why don’t you wax your upper lip? I mean it’s good we are not getting married; after all I am not gay! hahaha! Btw my ex was saying that you need a new haircut also!
10. Capricorn: No. I need a concrete reason, won’t leave till you give me one. It is your life; do whatever you wish, I do not have time for your silly girly crap. All I want is a that basic reason in one line and without tears. You have five minutes.
11. Aquarius: Accha! So should I say yes to my scout friends for that trekking trip? Actually I was getting delayed due to this engagement ceremony... would you like to join us?
12. Pisces: That’s because we are not made for each other. Our ‘spiritual-energy-karmic-yin-yan-love connect’ might be weak; it surely is as I saw and felt it deeply in my dream. Anyways watz up sister :)

(Image courtesy: www.theselfishgene.com) 

Whatz ur rashi??

Well this is one discussion I am always all ears to. And yes, I always wanted to write on this- the zodiac signs. I agree that there is no second opinion in crowning late Linda Goodman as the queen of the zodiac analysis, but here’s my analysis of the zodiacs.

In my class, there were students of all the zodiac signs. And they actually reacted differently to the same thing and same command of the HOD…here’s what our ex- HOD Mr. Sharma typically sounded like:

“Your minor project is complete crap, be ashamed of yourself and no second thoughts on a re-do. And I know it’s copied. hai naa? Are u getting my point???”

These were his fav lines. And that’s how my friends reacted …

1. Aries: really! Sir you are a genius!! BUT its NOT copied ok ( laughs out loud after coming out).

2. Taurus: sir it’s not copied and I spent 5 nights into making this draft, and u’ll have to read it at least once before saying all these words publicly.

3. Gemini: what!! No sir it’s not a crap!! How can u say so, have u read it. it might look like one but sir I am..yups I am sure its not a crap sir.. XYZ told me to do the formatting this way and ABC told me to do the margins this way, that means all of us have written crap..is it?? My god! Then I must tell the class hai na? No no…Lemme read it once again; no sir have u read it. It’s definitely not copied, just the idea is ‘inspired’…and ..and…(and the HOD faints)

4. Cancer : (Starts crying). Sir you are partial…

5. Leo: what!! You moron, who has given u this post!

6. Virgo: (Almost crying) Where exactly is the mistake. I have actually worked tirelessly sir. Please consider.

7. Libra: hmm hmm (after much thinking)...Sir u say you mean it’s a crap because the idea is copied or because the content is bad. If the idea is copied then there is no point because there can be n number of researches on the same topic, and if the content is bad then we have taken what was given in the books.And if and if…but what is your point exactly? Is it… (HOD goes nuts)

8. Scorpio: Okk, I’ll change it ( he heh! We all knew they’ll never do it!)

9. Sagittarius: hahahaah! So it’s a crap, hain! Its not oldie, and what makes u think I’ll change it! Yo baby!!

10. Capricorn: No sir , its not copied. Kindly spot the mistakes. I do not deserve a thoughtless redo, I know I do not.

11. Aquarius: haha! If u know the answer why asking the question???

12. Pieces... They stay quiet and just nod. Come out, sip tea and say “oye! nayi movie kaunsi lagi hai??”