The tranquil misty winter morning seemed a bit new and different but Sarika’s schedule was same as it has been since she married Manoj a decade ago. She woke up early, prepared morning tea lovingly for him.
She came out in the front yard of her house trying to absorb the few rays of the shy winter sun. Sipping her morning tea and planning the hectic day ahead, she heard the desperate cry of Sammy, the old dog of her neighbor. Sammy was callously left behind when the family shifted residence to Meerut, simply because it was old and required care. All day it would sit outside its old house in biting cold in an unending hope that some day its family will let it in. Sarika felt pity for it and would occasionally tossed bits of left over food towards it. She again saw it trying to get inside the locked house through spaces and crevices in the locked iron gate. “Anyways, what can I do, suffering and pain is the destiny of this dog. I have got a thousand things lined up of my own and on my own, and who has got time?” She stared at the dog blankly while sipping tea and came inside, something she was doing since the owners left.
One late evening, Sarika came to shop for some groceries with Manoj in nearby market. She was hassling as usual, and Manoj stood at a distance smoking, unconcerned, for he considered bargaining one of the signs of being effeminate. Suddenly there were two loud gunshots. The people all around got panicky started running in whichever direction they could. The fear of getting killed is worse than death itself; people carrying their children in arms, old people struggling to hold each other, everyone started running for cover. The market was not that crowded though, but a sort of stampede followed. Two gangs of goons were on their way chasing each other. After the goons left, the crowd started coming back from their hidings. Sarika too came out of a shop through its half closed shutter and looked for Manoj. Her hand reached for cell phone but it wasn’t there. Perhaps it fell somewhere. She fretted around but to no avail. Sarika felt her legs shaking and an uneasy feeling crept in. The market came back to normal within some time but Manoj was nowhere to be seen. Fearing the worst, she gathered all her might and visited the temple nearby to pray for the well being of the man she loved so intensely. It was also the moment of truth for her when she realized how deeply she loved him. Her confused mind pictured her tensed husband searching hysterically for her as she rushed home to intimate her family and well wishers.
She barged straight into the house panting but got her breath back when she found Manoj relaxing on the sofa, watching cricket, completely unruffled by what had happened in the market.
“Come on Sarika I am here, nothing can happen to you, my brave babe. In fact I have been praying for you ever since I came back. Actually I thought you would be at home so I came back searching for you only” he said, as he saw her.
“I could have got killed in the stampede” replied Sarika controlling her tears, after staring for a few minutes at the man who appeared so blasé and chilled.
“It wasn’t much of a stampede, you could take care of yourself. And you are not a five year old who needs constant protection” he said trying to hide the discomfort that started to appear on his face.
“What if I were killed? I have returned so late, weren’t you worried about me” said Sarika as if trying to remind him of his vows that he could die for her.
“Where were you? I looked everywhere, couldn’t find you, and so came home. I knew you would make it to home safely.”
“But I could have got killed!” Sarika said trying her best to fathom his intentions.
Manoj avoided any eye contact, for the eyes sometimes speak the naked truth. But sometimes the mask itself reveals the real face of the actor. He scorned and switched off the TV, banging the remote on the table and went inside while she stood there frozen in time and feeling slapped on the face. She felt like crying but only a few tears rolled down her cheeks. She remembered the days when she would pray for his success and health, when she would pick up quarrels with relatives for him, all those delicacies she would prepare even when she was not keeping too well and a storm of such nostalgic memories swept through her mind. And here was the man who claimed that he could do anything for her, sitting shamelessly leaving her to die or get lost somewhere in the crowd. Sarika got all her answers. She could now piece together his every word and that in fact created an ugly picture.
Wiping her tears she came out and sat motionless in the porch. Sammy was there as usual. She could now feel an uncanny bond with it; they both stared at each other for a while but this time the stare was definitely not blank......
