Miss Slurpp!

There was nothing much I was bothered about or abhorred; it was small things that sometimes sent shivers down my neck and my eyes throbbed just as your eyes too would have if I rubbed steel over steel or my nails over a blackboard. I mean if you have seen ‘Jaws’, you would get my point. One thing that had, of late, started perturbing me was her, my neighbor’s tea sip…the sound of her slurp…that went like slurppp…whizzz…whizz and that gave me shivers I cannot describe exactly, but yes, I was sure. One day I was sitting in my little garden where I had collected various varieties of Cactus and some carnivorous plants like the ‘Pitcher Plant’ and I forgot to tell you, I paid a handsome amount for shipping of my feral babies. 

So I sat admiring and counting the exact number of thorns, she came with her usual slurppp…whizzz that day, and I understood that she intentionally wanted to annoy me. I wanted to slap her right there and then but I am, you see, a very logical person, even though people would laugh at this statement. I waited with bated breath and absorbed every syllable of her sound within me and hid behind a huge wild bush in my balcony garden. That had to be done, my inner voice told me. So the very same night, I broke into her room and hid cleverly behind the cupboard so she could not see me at all, and saw her sleep. Then with hushed steps I had practiced all evening, I went to her bed and saw her lips, they were going whizzz...whizzzz and then tied her hands and put her to real sleep. Then I returned and kissed my Pitcher Plant for it also swallows an unsuspecting insect suddenly, in one go.

The next morning when the cops came to her flat, I too went there with confidence and took interest in every investigation but when they asked me how she was with me and if I remembered any peculiar thing about her, I could not control myself. The very same shivers rolled like waves inside me…I cried whizzz…slurpp…whizz…a b***h...whizzzzz. I do not know what they noticed but they dragged me here, in a suffocating cell. I swear her name should have been Miss Slurpp! God, I cannot control my laugher! My pitcher plant must be laughing too!

For Mag-291 Picture Prompt