Mr. Litterram!

“And…no. 189…done!” Exclaimed Mr. LitterRam excitedly. The only thing that gave him pleasure apart from spray painting the city walls (not with paint) was engraving his initials on the walls of every monument he could visit and spot. The spirits of those buried there used to mourn at his un-clean arrival but Litterram would be resolute. Armed with a small knife, he would write his initials or sometimes important messages like ‘I L U’ or ‘B Free’ on the walls that once looked healthy and clean as if straight of a paints commercial. However, who could stop Litterram! after all India is a free country, he would shout on the top of his voice and as a revenge, made sure that person would step on his banana peel!

It so happened that once day, Mr. Litterram, in his flights of garbage fantasies, stepped upon wrong victims- two angels of cleanliness who had descended from Hygiene Heavens to prepare a report on India’s never-ending, self-propagating, anti-decomposing and perpetual heaps of garbage. So, the two angels, disguised as humans, bumped into something, even more obnoxious than the rotting filth- you know who that was!

So, Litteram, who was happily enjoying his chocolate, peeled it slowly and let the golden and white pieces fly as if he were setting caged birds free with much sympathy. The angels, in a cool and requesting tone, asked him to keep his wrappers with himself but on this Litterram became furious. He spit the chocolate on the bench and then stared at the angels with fury of an injured lion. Then, at the top of his cacophonic voice shouted ‘India is a free country, understand?’ to which the hygiene angels had to opt for plan B. They said they were sorry and that as an apology, they would clean whatever garbage he does the whole day. Litterram did not bother and went to the park wall to pee, humming the latest hit song. All day, he gifted his city precious things like banana peels, chocolate wrappers, plastic bottles, plastic use & throw plates and of course, how could he forget his fav spot-the walls and the poles that gave all the dogs a solid complex. In the evening, when a tired Litterram returned home victorious, he laughed at the incident and went to sleep. However, in the middle of the night, something struck his hand- a soft thing, a bit watery and cold…yikes! He quickly switched on the night lamp and found that his bed-sheet was soaked in paan-stain and orange and banana peels were lying all around. He got up in horror but a hard thing touched his feet. He saw closely and found the shells of peanuts and pistachios were scattered all around…damn! He quickly went to the hall and saw a stink that was emanating from the area. The walls were wet and tiny golden wrappers were flying all around. He looked up and saw that the angels were laughing their heart out! One was even clapping with joy. He became furious and shouted at them, “What the hell? Why have you done this? Who are you to enter my house and throw garbage all around?”

Pat came the reply “Why, India is a free country, remember?”

“But this is my house, understand?”

“The country is yours too! So are the roads, the monuments, the parks, is’nt it? ” All of a sudden, he came into senses and felt deeply ashamed of the garbage he had been spreading all these years. He apologized and decided to “Stay Clean and Keep Clean”, starting from himself, no matter if others don’t listen to him at first. They too will someday have their share of lessons!

PS- Guess what he did the next morning?-  He got a dustbin!

Check out his video-

Meet the great Indian Litterbug (by TOI)@ http://greatindian.timesofindia.com/

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