A DESERTED ADDRESS

Stuck in my own cobwebs,

Within the nooks deep in my heart;

I am unable to break free and make a new start,

Even sunlight seems mere shadow of a once glorious past.

Only the darkness now rules in life’s lonely lane,

With a few dusted memories,

Of joy, of celebration, of bliss, of fame;

I am now a deserted address, no letters for this forgotten name.

My lonesome heart yearns for those friends,

To wipe my tears and hold these shaking hands,

But world bows only to the rising sun;  

The fallen stars are dirt for every one.

(This is written for a superstar of Indian Cinema, whose insolence, rudeness and arrogance shocked me. Stars like him, once shining, are now lost in history, for space at the top is narrow and pitch very slippery. Nothing lasts forever, as the saying goes, ‘This too shall pass’. I hope this hero gets this lesson soon)

Image source: http://abstract.desktopnexus.com/wallpaper/64492/

ARE WE LIKE THAT COMPASS NEEDLE??

 I have been pondering over this matter for quite some time. I would like to provide a small disclaimer this time as well. I do not mean or intend to hurt any one in any way; these are simply word forms of my thoughts, perceptions, and especially my observations. To start with, the basic topic of this post is gender based discrimination. If you see things deeply from a third person’s perspective, chauvinism peeps out from even the most simple words, statements and situations.

We all ignore any news of discrimination and crime against women, labeling as very rusty, raw and rather ‘chhote-shaher ka’ types. Are we liberal in real sense? Does our ‘modern and educated’ society very capable of giving lectures on women power really practices what all it preaches all the time?

Let’s take the example of corporate first. Female employees, have to constantly give ‘signals’ of ‘I am not available for fun’. Even the HR people advise them to dress modestly. Why should a girl change her dressing style if some male is not able to keep his feelings under check? Secondly, it is an open secret that ladies have to work twice as hard as their male counterparts to get promotion. Even if she has climbed the corporate ladder through hard work and dedication, she is often accused of compromising with the bosses to get the chair that only a man ‘deserved’.

 

It is very common to see people taking respite in tagging ladies who are separated from their husbands. Whether a lady leaves her husband or he leaves her; in either case she is the ‘culprit’; rather the only one. The things are not same for men. In fact, I have seen men who recently lost their wives, flooded with marriage proposals but a widow is considered inauspicious and is avoided like plague at  auspicious ceremonies like marriage etc. Why this discrimination? Abuse is not only physical; these boycotts are often the worst form of torture one can inflict on an already disadvantaged being, for some emotional wounds take forever to heal.

Any man with a jovial and friendly disposition is considered positive and good natured. He is considered smart and attractive; while any girl with a similar nature is tagged slutty and cheap? This discrimination is deeply rooted even in our so called modern society. It is a literal cakewalk to spoil the name of any girl- just spread a few rumors and she will be tainted for life.

I know of a particular case where, to know each other better, a girl requested her suitor to meet her separately at any public place. The boy not only refused to meet her but his family snapped the ties too, for they thought the girl was very ‘forward’, desperate and lacks ‘sanskaars’. Silly, but good for the girl; luck got that pest out of her life!

Also, rape is the only crime wherein the only one blamed is the hapless victim. As Napoleon rightly said ‘In the end, what hurts us the most is not the words of our enemies but the silence of our friends’. The disdainful look and apathetic treatment of the victim by her own society in fact makes her life hellish since every minute she is reminded of her ‘tragedy’ by her very own people.

There are many situations like this and the list is endless, literally. No sex is superior to the other; both are at the same level. This unnecessary discrimination covered under the mask of so called modernity makes us even more obnoxious. It is high time we open our mind and start truthfully practicing what we always preach about gender equality.

‘Like a compass needle always points north, a man’s accusing finger always finds a woman. Always.’ – Nana to Mariam, in “A Thousand Splendid Suns” by Khaled Hosseini….. Can’t agree more!

Image source: http://the-universality-of-cheese.blogspot.com/2009_08_31_archive.html

WHAT’S YOUR RASHI- PART-3

In the last post, girls broke off the engagement. Now let’s see how our boys of the zodiac are going to react to this. Let’s suppose they have come to know that they have been dumped.

1. Aries: haha! As if I bother!!
2. Taurus: (After hearing all the things patiently): Its ok, I am fine with this decision. I don’t want a partner who is like a baggage on me.
3. Gemini: What! You are breaking off the engagement? You know only strong girls can do that. No girl can live in a suffocating relationship. I hate such relationships as well... You were so nice, I enjoyed with you. You must be a strong girl. Emotions have their place in relationship, you are too emotional to take right decisions, and I feel emotional girls are not strong and …………so.........and........
4. Cancer: What?? I am devastated. Please do not leave my lady; I just cannot take broken relations. Please do not make my nightmares come true. But finally, if you should, then I also know how to live without you.
5. Leo: Letting go a man like me proves that you are a certified lunatic…and by the way, I always wanted to tell one thing that even my maid has a better style sense than you girl...In fact you never ever deserved me, get lost!Grrrr..
6. Virgo: Yes, madam, I also noticed various things like you were staring blankly out of the window when my aunt was giving you tips on better knitting, I heard you did not flush when you used the restaurant loo, you also did not wash your hand after touching the escalator railing and you also took the compliment given by my cousin on your dress very lightly. Thanks a lot for letting me off your clutches.
7. Libra: Hmmm…Hmmm...Now what is the exact problem and what is the exact root of this decision. See, exact root can make you take a few other decisions as well like you may delay, you may set some particular terms and conditions but I can see you have cancelled. If the cause and effect are the same, then a peculiar habit of mine may be the reason. See, I think…….. And I think… and I think……… (The poor girl says yes to avoid argument!).
8. Scorpio: OK lady (Thinking: How dare you, you  dumb ass, can’t you feel the heat of  my intense passion for you? Now I’ll teach you a lesson or two for sure, and then you will think a thousand times before hurting any one again like this... wait and watch girl, just wait and watch….).
9. Sagittarius: Yaar, that’s what I was saying, why don’t you lose some weight and why don’t you wax your upper lip? I mean it’s good we are not getting married; after all I am not gay! hahaha! Btw my ex was saying that you need a new haircut also!
10. Capricorn: No. I need a concrete reason, won’t leave till you give me one. It is your life; do whatever you wish, I do not have time for your silly girly crap. All I want is a that basic reason in one line and without tears. You have five minutes.
11. Aquarius: Accha! So should I say yes to my scout friends for that trekking trip? Actually I was getting delayed due to this engagement ceremony... would you like to join us?
12. Pisces: That’s because we are not made for each other. Our ‘spiritual-energy-karmic-yin-yan-love connect’ might be weak; it surely is as I saw and felt it deeply in my dream. Anyways watz up sister :)

(Image courtesy: www.theselfishgene.com) 

Watz Your Rashi - Part 2

Let us assume a girl has to reject a suitor she has been going around for months, may be. Here is how the girls of the zodiac will behave:

(To be taken with a pinch of salt!)

1. Aries: Yaar, I think we are incompatible so I am leaving you- bye.

2. Taurus: I think you are an aggressive person and my patience is coming to an end; before it results in a deadly explosion, please leave.

3. Gemini: Am I leaving you? Who told you that? You think so? You know I had heard compatibility is an essential quality for marriage. When we went to that club yesterday, it was so much fun. I think it is going to rain tomorrow. There are so many men who hate rains you know, but I love them. I want to marry someone who loves traveling, that’s what! I want such a man yaar! Oh yes, btw I think I am leaving you. You are so sweet, how can a girl let a sweetie pie like you slip off her hands, you know………………… (The guy is still waiting at the altar, still unsure if she will come or not!)

4. Cancer: You were smiling when I was crying?? You did not give me enough sympathy. How could you kick that stray pup? And how can you not smile back at that beggar child? You steel robot. Leave please (crying), please leave I want to marry a kind gentle man and not some insensitive demon.

5. Leo: You are not worth marrying a girl like me. Go and look at your face but dare not show that damn thing to me again... now get lost....Grrr..



6. Virgo: That day when we were sitting in that restaurant, I noticed you licked your little finger while having pizza. That day when we were watching movie, I noticed a white strand on your head! The day we were at the grocery store I saw you did not check the expiry date while buying the packet of chips. I also noticed you were throwing a glance at the lady behind the counter, I also noticed…… after all the analysis, my choice has changed, I am really sorry. Did not mean to hurt you.

7. Libra: hmmm…hmmm... I think marriage is something that is a union of minds, right! Now we are two dignified individuals and we both are educated too. I do not mean to say I am better looking than you but even that part requires a balance too. There can be n number of reasons to break the marriage like incompatibility that can be emotional or cultural or financial. There are other reasons as well like past affair. I do not care but…………………can you please tell me where I was? Yes, incompatibility... I think you get the point dear; you are really a very good friend of mine. But…..

8. Scorpio: I think you are not up to my standard, so? That’s your problem not mine and loss is also yours boy. Leave.

9. Sagittarius: Yaar, I like men who are manly, no don’t mean you are girly but I mean I want more manly, you are so cute and sweet, yaar honestly I don’t want competition ..Ha-ha! Should I explain more??

10. Capricorn: I got to know from my trusted sources that the house you are living in belongs to your father. Also, that watch you gifted me last week was available on sale on xyz store. You also did not tell me that xyz percent of your salary is deducted for a car loan you took last year. Now how can I marry you? I don’t want to argue. Thanks a lot sir, it was nice with you but that’s my life, simply can’t take chances!

11. Aquarius: Why don’t you marry my friend, she has long hair and is an excellent cook!

12. Pisces: There is something about sea shores, that day I saw a dream where a man was calling me to the sea shores. Do you believe in treasures? I think that was not a dream but a prediction. I am leaving for my destiny’s call so can’t marry!

And how the boys of the zodiac are going to react to this??

Coming in the next post!

What lies beneath?

Before proceeding any further in this post, it is important to give a small disclaimer. Basically, I am writing this on the basis of my real life experiences with friends and especially social group members like neighbors and relatives. How your problem is a time pass for them and how eagerly people look forward to what happens next in your life is just similar to how a serial buff looks forward to the next episode; how much your drooping face interests them and how much willing they are to stir up waters to catch some mew ‘masaala’ from your life! Not just some of your relatives but a few neighbors as well fall into this category. I do not mean everyone is like this but most of the people definitely are, and you find more so if you keep your senses open and become a bit more observing.

1.     This happened when my mother was hospitalized and I was a kid of six years. This bitch used to be a neighbor of mine.

Miss A: Where is your mother these days?

Me: She is at hospital.

Miss A: So who is managing the house? Her sister? (With a wink)

Me: No

Miss A: What did your father cook for dinner yesterday?

Me: Xyz curry

Miss A: What else he can cook?

Me: I don’t know

Miss A: why? (Angrily)

Me: ?

Miss A: He bathes your mother?

Me: I don’t know

Miss A: Why? Are you mad? Don’t you live with them? Anyways, who was he who visited your house yesterday?

Me: ? (Crying)

Miss A: Go and come tomorrow.

After that, at that tender age, I swore I will refuse to talk and keep mum if any one enquires about my mother again.

2.            This happened when I was in school. One of my friends had three more siblings.

Teacher: How many siblings do you have?

She: Madam, three

Teacher: My gawd! four kids in these times! And what is your father?

She: He is a professor at Xyz University

Teacher: Still four? hahahah!

She: (Silent)

Teacher to a fellow teacher: He must be keeping his evenings free of private tuitions (with a wink)!

I clearly remember my friend cried bitterly after that and swore never to befriend any one of that particular religion to which that teacher belonged.

3.     This happened when I was in college.

A few distant relatives visited us. As soon as they arrived, they started doing recce of the house, opening closets and surveying nook and corners. I was asked to show some old photographs. As soon as I got the bag out of the drawer, it was snatched and all the albums spread on the bed. Much to me and my mother’s discomfort, my college trip album was picked up, and then started the interrogative process. They started inquiring about my male friends in my group. The uncle looked at me with penetrating eyes and said: “Hmmm, so schooling was in co-ed school?”

Me: Yes uncle.

He: College as well

Me: Yes

He: Hmmm (passing a silent and dirty smile to his wife)

Me: So???

4.     Finally this happened to me  when I was working:

A friend of mine was going through a painful marriage. She called me one day at two in the night and started crying. I tried my best to console her. After I told her to be calm and even, and after an hour long conversation, I was firmly told by her not to ‘interfere’ in her ‘personal matters’, ‘husband’ and ‘married life’. I was also given a lecture on relationships and emotions.

That was the last conversation of my life with that girl. I swore never to interfere in anyone’s marriage, no matter how close he or she is and how painful it is going.

 I have noticed, some people do not leave a single opportunity to insult others in any way and sometimes they create situation that can provide them an authority to insult. I strongly feel such people are kind of mentally deranged or sick and not worth interacting with.

Also, certain experiences and insults that shook you from inside are very capable to form some particular attitudes and beliefs for the rest of your life. If you think someone is that possessive about this or superstitious about that or simply refuses to let herself/ himself go, prod a little; you will find an insecure child or a confused teen somewhere in her/his soul. Next time, before rushing to form an opinion after the first meeting, just go a little deeper, things may not be what they seem, something else lies beneath.